The local vicar and minister were in one corner of the party talking shop when the good hostess came up to them with a tray of wine glasses. The vicar quite happily took a glass.

The minister was indignant. He reared back and flared his nostrils. “I would rather commit adultery!” he declared.

“Oh,” said the vicar, and put the glass back:

“I didn’t realise there was a choice!

And since I’ve used this one on a couple of people without it getting old:

Did you hear about the Vegetarian Zombie?

“Grains! GRAINS!”

We sang the Hallelujah Chorus at church today as part of the children’s end-of-year service. No practice, just everyone got a song sheet with their order of service and was invited to sing along. Harmony attempted to assert itself, and I came close to getting all the words in. Of such things traditions deserve to be made!