I missed the opening minutes and arrived in the middle of a scene where the last of the human forces are being driven of a New Englander city. With no report from Alask-Canada, Mexico, Asia, or Trans-Atlantica, Planet America has been taken over by aliens: the multi-limbed skitters and humanoid terminators the humans call mechs. I started wondering why the aliens are dimorphic way before anyone on the screen did. The aliens dominate the landscape with fortresses that look like a cross between stranded oil-rigs and the Jetsons. The humans need all the help they can get as their main character is Noah Wyle wandering around as a history professor without tenure. His pep talks run along the lines of Remember the Athenians! Oh, dear.

Everyone’s holding up way better to the end of civilisation than they did on Battlestar Galactica

The survivors stand around an dying alien they have brought down and wonder what it’s thinking. It looked fairly obvious that it was something like Bloody hell, I can’t breathe!

Note to the teenagers: if everyone can hear you snogging in the bedroom you might as well give them something worth listening to. It will be good for morale. (Oh, right. This is family entertainment.)

The episode ends with our heroic survivors being captured by arrow-toting bikies. It turns out alright when the mooks turn on each other faster than orcs. No honour among thieves, I’m afraid. Most of them go kaboom and our guys are left with the great goblin as their prisoner.

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